And the worst has happened...
I can't say I didn't expect it but yet it still came as a shock.
My gut didn't fail me again. Sometimes, like this, I wish as hell it did.
Ominous clouds hovering over my head refuse to dissipate. Haven't I had enough?
If tears streaming for five hours and counting isn't heartache, then what is?

You are the reason why words are cheap.
People like you are why people die of broken hearts and depression.
No one will know what 'fickle' really means until they meet you.
Yet it was only with you that I felt really loved.

I don't understand why if you've already decided why did you continue to pretend otherwise? And everyone knows 'I don't know' is not an answer.
If you thought I controlled you like a puppet, then what am I? Your little ragdoll you play with when you're bored or upset with the rest of the world and throw away when you don't need anymore?
I did everything you want me to, to the best of my abilities. I didn't mind being at your beck and call. I wanted to make you happy. I liked seeing you smile.
I know that many times I did things you didn't like... Like throwing my temper when you went out with her. I'm sorry but I hope you blame me not cause I wanted to be the one you love again. You once said we share something very special cause we can never stay mad at each other for long and I agree... I can never stay mad at you no matter how mean you are to me or how shabbily you treat me. You're just... Special.
Only that you made me believe you still need me then tell me not anymore.
I really don't care if the rest of the world thinks I'm stupid cause I know how I feel... But I guess when things are made clear there's no longer any reason for me to continue being 'stupid'.
Yet I can't help thinking of tucking you into bed for one last time, knowing it'll never happen.

My head hurts like fuck from fatigue and excessive crying and nothing seems to distract me enough tonight. Not mobtv, not youtube, not even blogging... In fact I don't wish to continue anymore.

I hope you're sleeping well... Cause I'm only walking away thinking it'll make you smile.
x o x o