there's always more to explore;

Monday, August 28, 2006

I feel so lousy.
Why do you have to say all the words that make me bleed?
What does it take to be happy?
Why am I always doing the wrong things?
Will I ever be able to please you genuinely?

I don't wanna step out to face anyone but yet I feel like I'm gonna disintegrate any moment if I hold it in any longer.
I hear the folks and the maid playing with my rabbit outside and somehow I have the urge to go out and play with it. Fuck if it bites me - At least I have a reason to cry out loud, scream and shout.
I need to talk to someone. Solitude sucks.

//i'm about to crumble

\champagne kisses
7:36 PM

x o x o

Monday, August 21, 2006

In this world of uncertainties, death serves to provide some balance, some form of certainty.
In this disparaging world of imperfections, death bring us all to one final and common state of perfection where all in life is comeplete.
Death occurs when you have no more business in this living world whether decided by you or mightier powers.

Sometimes you have your life revolving around one thing and your emotions and mental capabilities banked on the one same thing and when that one thing deem you useless or let know your deed is done, you feel like you have no more living business. Then you feel the need to look for a little something to hang on to but you know no one will ever (want to) understand so you just let it slide and slip away...

The hurt is a reminder, the blood is a legacy.

Sometimes it is this thing that is so important and special that the thought of death keeps creeping in cause you want your life complete with this masterpiece, sealed to perfection;
The perfection of you and me.

You proved love to be a luxurious decadence that I willingly set myself up for.
Let me decay;
In the name of love.

//a masterpiece will always be one; it's irreplaceable

\champagne kisses
8:29 AM

x o x o

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Last night's drama was definitely located at the worst venues ever, I swear!
Both places were so infested with mosquitoes that I couldn't stop scratching myself like a flea infested bitch. It's like I couldn't even concentrate on crying as much as I wanted to! Haha.
Okay, I made the whole affair sound like some joke but no, truth's that it was devastating, seriously. It stinks to know you're unhappy and it stings to know it's cause of me. Never felt as lost as now for all the times in my life I've not measured up. It got me so wired up, so depressed. But y'know, it's okay if you made me cry today just as long as you make me smile tomorrow. (:

The hurt dissipates each time you make me feel blessed...

And amazingly it'll be all worth the while.

I feel like drinking now, for some unknown reason and I have creme de cassis hanging on my mind... Haha. It's mild and bittersweet but more sweet than bitter, definitely a lady's.
Truth be told, I've never enjoyed the stronger stuff and I still can't appreciate beer. Nope, not even hoegaarden. *shrugs*

I'm so outta work now! I'm sick of my plastic cosmetic girl job. The only thing that keeps me going? Freebies! But in a way it's bad cuse I won't be able to afford luxurious skincare after I quit. Bahh. What am I gonna use then?!
I AM BORED!

Did I say that my air-con broke down?! It's so oh-my-fucking-god hot now and all the heat and boredom's making me grouchy! /:

//kiss me, thrill me

\champagne kisses
2:12 PM

x o x o

Friday, August 18, 2006

Why does sucha fine day have to turn the tables on me?

I bloody hell hate heated words that cut so deep, the deafening noise that silence the heart, the cold icy stare that's made of rock and the distance that diminishes your back...

We often allow a moment of anger to overshadow the rest of our emotions.
You see, I can't even remember how it started...
Can you?

Let the compromise begin and the smiles flashing again.

//we don't give up so easily on things we hold so dear

\champagne kisses
2:13 AM

x o x o

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

My rabbit bit me again!!
I don't know why she keep biting me and it's so painful! I'm so damn terrified of her now that I don't even dare pick her up anymore.
There was once, a couple of months back, I let her out to play and she started attacking me like how a furious dog would and bit me twice. I was so scared that I ran to the room to hide. Yes, from a freaking rabbit that's about the size of my ass. So, I figured she might be horny and very frustrated cause I've got no hot males for her to fuck and so, I sent her to the vet to get her spayed. It's supposed to make her very tame and lazy but apparently not and I'm very upset cause I love her a lot and I wanna carry her! *WHINES*

It's a love-hate relationship.

\champagne kisses
2:45 PM

x o x o

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Yesterday was the most beautiful day of my life!
The love was being absolutely saccharine sweet, I think I've got a toothache! Hoho.
The love planned a supersized surprise for our eighth month. *glee*
I had to make several phone calls to know where to go next so it was some sorta like a treasure hunt but yet, not quite. Haha. It was pretty fun but cause of the presents I was carrying, it was bloody tiring but how could I have complained at the sight of
THIS??

Look at the balloons and butterflies! They're so pretty they moved me to tears. So pretty! I still can't get over it. Hoho. So we had a deluxe room at the Sentosa Sijori Resort filled with flying, colourful butterflies! (x The love actually brought a helium gas tank all the way there to blow up the balloons. How sweeeet! Haha.

The love planned 8 surprises. The first was an invitation card, the second was the room at the resort, the third the pretty pretty butterflies, a pink lacy thong, a super-bling personalized handphone charm, a photo collage, the seventh is the 'iloveyou' formed by tea candles (as seen in above picture) and lastly, a condom. Mwahaha! It was fun, sweet, sexy, naughty all rolled into one. Purrrfect!

Then we toured and explored sentosa, watched the musical fountain show, which was magnificent and haf lots and lots of fun till I wanna die. Hahaha.
Happy happy happy! Whee!
Damn. Now I have to rack my brains for the next. Hmm...

\champagne kisses
8:01 AM

x o x o

Sunday, August 06, 2006

I felt like a super VIP last night, in Steff's words "like so atas la"!
Thanks to the love, Steff and I got special VIP treatment yesterday; free entry, free drinks, bouncers to our rescue just one walkie-talkie call away then whisked away to the safer members' area. Haha.
Had fun with my dearest sweetie sweet sweet despite the in-between drama. Haven't spend this much time with her for a long while.
Sorry sweets for getting you spinning mighty high. I've paid you in kisses. (;
Felt crazy things, said crazy things, did crazy things, had a crazy time.
All these despite a brewing fever suppressed by two paracetamols, which wore off just as the night ended. Perfect, I thought.

Not so, it seems when a huge argument evolved. I could've kept my cool and explain but the word 'cheap', the spell of alcohol and the fire from fever called upon a huge drama of tears and wails. It definitely wasn't pleasant at 4 a.m. in the chilly dawn but thankfully it all ended in blissful warmth.
Thanks to almighty fever, I had extra care and concern thrown at me. Not to mention a free make-up removal from the love!Though I found a few missing lashes and a few abrasions on my face, I'm not complaining! Haha. Okay, I was exaggerating but it was pretty rough. Oops!

Pictures soon, when Steff's not lazy.

\champagne kisses
1:35 AM

x o x o

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Everything has got me so dependant on you...
I forsee typhoons and hurricanes when you're not around.
My life's gonna turn upside down.

\champagne kisses
7:16 PM

x o x o