the glorious past;
June 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
April 2007
May 2007
July 2007
January 2008
February 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
*





SPEAK;

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Thanks E'an for taking me in.
You dont know how grateful I am.

On another note, sluts die early and so will you.
You all are evil and have no basic respect for my presence.
Seriously, why do you even bother contacting me? It just disgusts me more!

I don't even know why am I still here waiting on you.
I'm a fool for love and you can't beat that.
Remember my post on how I'm the kind that would help her lover cover up a damn murder?
It's now more clear than ever.

OH, FUCK IT.
I'm miserable.
Even tears are not enough...

\champagne kisses
9:37 PM
x o x o

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

I've been an emotional wreck.

Never knew I could ever feel like this. It seems like the greatest ordeal that has ever struck me.

If only I could die.
If only murder was legal.
If only...
Too many...
Too soon...
Too painful...

How will I ever come to terms with this?
One day, one hour, one life...
Gone.

\champagne kisses
9:33 PM
x o x o

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

I hate massive fights cause they never fail to tear me down. Lying in bed for two damn days makes me sick in the head. My incessant need for attention is driving everyone crazy and it's not like I'm not already trying.
I'm morphing into a suspicious, insecure, needy bitch and I don't even know why. I didn't see it until I did...

Sometimes reality really gnaws at the deepest depths of your no longer pulsating heart just so you feel the pain, just so you know you're still very much living (like the dead).
If all of these even make any sense to you...
There are times where you can't bring yourself to not trust your gut (trust me, it works like magic) but yet it's destroying reality.

Imagination kills and yet mine assumed a life of its own, taking over my every sense. Whatever happened to restraint and control, I really don't have a clue...
Harsh blatant words (perhaps of truth) kept ringing in my head, reminding me how I'm the cause of all the tension, stress and unhappiness. I think I lost my sense of worthiness. I think I lost all mental capability. I think I'm weak, dependent and heading for doom.

Sometimes you don't even know where all these negativity came from.
Your heart is grudging, you're distrusting and you get the blame for all the pain (and there's just more pain).
It's a vicious cycle.
Tears trigger anger and frustration, shouting and yelling trigger tears......

How would you feel if you want someone but it's not reciprocated? What would you do if someone special doubts your sincerity, your character and hates to come home to your face?

Brush it aside, go to bed, tomorrow will be a better day (or so we try to make it).

Then people try to put a smile on your face and you force a smile to show that you appreciate it (and you really do) but who knows your heart's still crying a river cause the only one who holds the key is holding back silently, sullenly.

I think need someone to talk to but I don't want the world to see me cause I don't think that they'd understand...

say a prayer for the desperate heart tonight

\champagne kisses
2:57 PM
x o x o

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

呼吸着一种孤独的味道
心跳在你沉默以后 慢慢的被淡忘掉
我笑了笑 反正你看不到
我要的幸福 遗落在你怀抱
当爱失了焦 那些最初的美好
早被你搁在一角
街上拥挤人潮 走着看着都是摧眠符号
记忆停不了 穿过读你的心跳
穿过想你的味道 我只想不被打扰

假装多好我只要只想要再拥有一秒
去相信你的拥抱 一直会让我依靠
继续等待 还心甘情愿的 不 想 逃

当爱失了焦 那些最初的美好
早被你搁在一角
街上拥挤人潮 走着看着都是摧眠符号
记忆停不了 穿过读你的心跳
穿过想你的味道 我只想不被打扰

假装多好我只要只想要再拥有一秒
去相信你的拥抱 一直会让我依靠
继续等待 心甘情愿不想逃

假装多好依然是依然是暧昧的同调
一个人无理取闹 两人世界的煎熬
我被自己 困在自己设下的 圈套

像是驼鸟相信时间是唯一解药
视而不见 傻到了无可救药
其实早明了你的爱已随风飘
想要找再也找不到

假装多好我只要只想要再拥有一秒
去相信你的拥抱 还心甘情愿的不想逃
假装多好依然是依然是暧昧的同调
一个人无理取闹 两人世界的煎熬
我被自己困在自己设下的 圈套

假装自己已解开冰冷的 手铐

I have that song on repeat and I should be at a Jolin concert now!
Damn!

I miss made-in-Singapore chinese dramas...
When I get my broadband, I'm gonna subscribe to MOBTV!
Wonders, wonders of technology!

One week has passed and work done is about ten percent? Really pathetic.
I hate Mass Comm. It's pretty tough (imho).

I bought an exercise wheel and a hoolahoop and skipping rope (2-in-1!!) yesterday! I was so excited that I used them the moment I got home and since I haven't exercised since forever, my body ached like shit this morning!! Zomg. And all I did was like twenty on the skipping rope, twenty-five on the exercise wheel (that was killer!) and a total of approximately 25mins on the hoolahoop! I need to exercise!

Think we might (cause our plans seldom materialise) go on a one-day-trip to Swan Valley tomorrow. Can't say I'm excited (cause I'm not quite the sightseeing person but having said that, I might enjoy it) but it certainly beats sitting in my room, freezing my fat ass off, trying to decipher (yes, decipher! trust me, it's cryptic.) a textbook.

Porklet's napping on the (WHOLE) bed and it's seriously not helping my situation. Every five minutes I turn around and look at her and images of me using a huge shovel (or whatever you call that enormous spade) to shove her to the floor keep filling my head. HOHO.

I think I have an attention span of a baby cause I can't read pass five pages (when it comes to textbooks and the like). So torturous! I also have NO sense of urgency. The fire needs to be half a metre away from me before I start running.
I have to e-mail my group members my part by today. So good luck to me!
But I really just wanna sit here and stone or doodle or twirl my hair - y'know, anything but the book? ):
Gosh. I should really just go.and.die cry try.

Jolin Tsai is singing me a lullaby through my earphones.
That's my cue.
Goodnight.
Lol.

\champagne kisses
7:56 AM
x o x o

Wednesday, April 04, 2007


Porklet in my Little Twin Stars nightie shorts!
Classic and lovesss it!
Hoho.
And there, a little sneak peek into my toilet, which looks pretty decent right?

\champagne kisses
7:16 PM
x o x o


Wow, I didn't know I haven't blogged in 2 months. I knew my blog was getting stale but I didn't know it was getting THIS stale. Haha.

So anyway, after arriving here, this sometimes-burning-sometimes-freezing Perfff, I was kept really busy with household CHORES and school work (yes, on the contrary to common belief, I am actually doing work and getting distinctions - zomg!) and trying to get sufficient rest and well, sex (joke!!).
As you would probably already know, it's Easter break now (2 freakin' weeks! I think back in Singapore we got ONE pathetic day on Good Friday??) and though I would like to say 'finally...', I just can't cause I have like 5 assignments and 1 test due within 2 weeks after the break!
Yes, I know! Insane please!
But y'know, how can I complain when everyone's probably going through the same shit as me or worse and apparently, it's far more worse in NUS and the like... So... I guess I'll have to try and be grateful for a lifeless uni life (oh, the irony!). Oh yeah, and to finish it off on a perfect note, I dont really have friends! Yes, schoolmates, project-mates and what you have but not friends (by friends I mean people you call to hang out OUTSIDE school and when conversations go past 'how's your weekend?'.)
My God! I kinda hate it. I especially hate one of my tutes where the entire class is angmoh or pseudo angmoh (did college/highs school here, have angmoh accent and angmoh friends and don't talk to you if you don't have angmoh accent). Actually, I think I'm the only Asian in all my classes except one, where there's a Singaporean guy (I think) but we don't talk (no, not good looking at all!) at all. So sad right? I should stand in the middle of the field and go 'Singaporeans in Perth unite!...' and lap up the whole banana dance thinggy. HOHO. HEE-LAIR-REAS!
Pretty evident at this point of time that I'm not really loving school as I probably should, huh... Remember my initial enthusiasm on starting school??! I think it flew right out the window. Damn!
The only good thing is that I feel super damn obliged to do my assignments and to do well and I feel mighty accomplished after I finish each assignment (like completing PhD thesis please!). Lol.
I did quite a bit of shopping at the beginning and thus I think I've burst my budget and now when I'm supposed to scrimp and save, I'm still not cause I'm sucha brat who takes money for granted (subconsciously, I swear!). Haha. Other than that, I think I'm getting used to the life here as well as the minority (Asians are peasants) treatment.
Seriously, if I had a gun, I would've committed a couple of murders here already (don't ask me why I need a gun - I just do.)! TWICE, the bus drove off right infront of my atas, uncaring (more like fucked) face! I cursed the driver's entire family as well as for the bus to crash, which very unfortunately, probably did not happen at all. People like these, should not just die. - They should die horrible deaths complete with faces smashed beyond recognition.
I know I'm so evil but just what the hell were they thinking when they drove off?? One of them even waved me goodbye! Fucking bastard, I tell you. It's no wonder why Funny thinks this place looks just like Malaysia cause with such attitudes, it's hard to progress and prosper. C'mon, they JUST started our EZlink equivalent! Tell me about it.

And just so you know, I've got a pretty neat cribzz. Hurhur. The room's freakin' small to share but I made it really cosy! The toilet's clean (cause I wash it) and I try to clear books and clothes clutter twice every week! See how I've changed?! Actually, I think it's cause I've developed OCD. It's terrible and porklet can barely stand it. ): She thinks I'm too fussy and should leave alone in a secret dungeon. Those who've been to my made-believe princess-y room in Singapore know it's far from princess-y cause it's never neat. Thank God it's only the room and the little toilet I've to tidy... I'll put pictures up when I'm free-er! (:

Living together has also changed things a little cause I think there's now more tension floating in the air (the OCD and the resident 'threat'! - more about that another time.) and just to put a figure to it, we have, on average, a small argument every 5 days, a huge one every 10 and a really massive one every 1 month. My blankie has also started to reek of drool and I've to pretend it is okay! Sometimes, adding salt to the wound, the only orgasm of the day came from self stimulation whilest watching porn (gasp!!) How sad please! HAHA. Okay, it's obvious that the last bit was purely fictional right? Yes, it is! I swear! Lol.

It's quite loser to say this but I've only clubbed ONCE (but it's in the hottest club, okay!) since I came, two months ago. It's supposed to be mambo night (like the zouk one!) and it was a pleasant experience. I wanna learn all the moves to the songs then we can stand in a row and do it the next time! FUN! Oh, and beers are cheap (much cheaper than Singapore, I think!)! Haha. Porklet thought it was good! So I'm guessing we'll be doing that quite a bit once she has got her car! YAY. Talking about car, I think we really need one and I just can't wait.
Imagine not having to deal with grouchy, racist, evil bus drivers, not having to rush to catch a bus, not having to walk 10 minutes to get to a bus stop, not having to wake up before the sun is up, getting to school in 20 minutes, driving to the city to get supper, clubbing and you know... The list goes on! And so...
WE NEED A FREAKIN' BMW CONVERTIBLE! - Cause I say so. Mwahaha.
Bliss.

I think I've gone on for pretty long now so I'll HAVE to go get some reading done for my assignments before I just blow this whole holiday (sooo not, please!) away.
Just so you know what has been going on and just so you know I'm still alive!
On a random note, I sooo don't wanna hit 21! It just sounds gross! Boo.

\champagne kisses
3:50 PM
x o x o