It's 10.30 in the freakin' morning and I haven't slept a wink.

I just finished the entire Tila Tequila's A Shot at Love series, all 10 episodes, and the first episode of The L Word (Season 5). I figure I'll be exhausted enough to fall asleep after this post.

Anyway, I don't know if it's just me or... But I realised I more than often tend to prefer the runner-up to the winner in reality shows. And no, it's not really a bad thing cause I guess I get more baffled and surprised than most people (supposing it's just a 'me' thing to prefer runner-ups) when the result unfolds.

Have I already said Shane from L Word's hot? Totally stopped my on anf off tears for a good 45 minutes or so.
I mean even Paris Hilton's hitting on her.


I know! I hate her black wig and whatever outfit she's in too.
Okay, I've something against Paris. You know how sometimes you just know you don't like a person when you see them, even if they're nice? Yeah, that's what it is and she's not even nice (I believe).
Whatever.

Was pretty upset the entire evening through night, since I woke up at 3ish. Didn't sleep well at all.
Kept jolting awake thinking I could've missed a call or a message from you, which must seem absolutely ridiculous to a sane person.
I've said and did all I could, but I'm just not getting any response from you. I don't know what's going on but whatever happened to not wanting to lose me and me being the only person that really made you happy?
I guess I've cried myself tired enough today.
The only form of comfort I can find right now is with the soft toy you left me.
I know it sounds really insane but right now, I'll turn to whatever that keeps me going.
I will attempt to stop making attempts and not think about anything till I forget.
I think I'm now exhausted enough to sleep for a couple of hours before heading out to exhaust myself further so that I can sleep tonight. My life's suddenly a big fuckin' chore again! I wish a creature, ghost, monster or the like eats me up in my sleep!

Are you even reading this?
x o x o