Yet another emo night...
I have a gazillion things to say but they seem oh-so-familiar whilest running them through my head, as if I've said it gazillion times. Or maybe I have... Oh wells...
I'm extending my stay for another week. Perhaps it's my way of running away but honestly, I'm just glad to be home and away from the atrocities of life and the lowly beings - the bane of my life.
Why can't things be as simple as I envisioned them to be?
Fall in love, kiss and be merry?
I was too naive to simply believe we were happy. Maybe I was but you weren't and that's why you go away, I know... I'm losing faith and strength as the hours drag by. To be awake is a fucking torture and falling asleep has became a damn chore.
I wish I could still hold my faith with as much dignity as before but I'm gradually, slowly and painfully falling apart, crumble by crumble.
As I think back, I wonder how did I manage to coax my broken heart to overlook your atrocities as they are blatantly and deliberately placed infront of my enlarged pupils, like a mighty forceful stab in the back. I must be a deity or an angel of some sort. I must be...
Reaping what you sow no longer holds the same sorta meaning to me, neither does love and that sorta thing. I've taken down the walls I've built around my fragile heart one too many times only to let you stage multiple massacres, bringing me down once again.
Sometimes the simplest wishes are the hardest to fulfill and to that, I'm resignated.
But yet sometimes, I see a sparkle of light which seems to be hinting at answers I'm seeking.
I don't know how long more I can hold on or how long more am I willing to be disillusioned and every single second my heart and mind are waging wars against each other, fighting till the death of me.
Tonight, yet another war is being fought;
Love always wins but yet I'm always left defeated.

I'm sorry, I didn't know I bruise this easily.

Teach me to love with this hurt.
x o x o